Tuesday, April 15, 2008
100 Yards of Horror!
Illustration by my good and very Sensitive Friend Shawn McManus.
I headed back from the convenience store through the forest. I could see them lurking in the bushes. Who were they? My imagination began to expand. The Mobile, Alabama Leprecaun was descending from his tree and coming after me. Yee-OW! I tried to go faster, but the gout sent pain radiating through my legs. Now they huddled back into the shadows behind the trees. Were they wearing propellor beanies, or did I imagine that? Could it be... yes, no... gremlins? I was piloting a P-40 for Lt. General Chennault and the Flying Tigers, yes, World War II Flying Tigers, that's the ticket, and the gremlins were on the wing, oh my God, no, NOOOOOooooooo! Get a grip, man. Now they emerged from the shadows... and I saw... that they were only children. Kids holding rocks and branches and metal objects. Batteries? They took aim and began throwing. I wanted to run but I could not. I pulled the hood over my head and continued walking as the hurled objects whizzed past. Only 100 more yards to the house. Could I make it? I limped... only ten feet to the door and safety. Hand on doorknob. Home at last!
You no what? "Troubles don't melt like lemon drops! Little Bastards!